It's funny. I wonder what is the core reason behind procrastination. Why do people really do it? It's a difficult thought, imagining that in this world there are actually people, who put things off so much, that they end up wasting away their youth, creativity, potential and mind. Sure, people put claims to many different "hypotheses": I have ADD and can't ever get myself to focus enough to actually come through with it; I'm a perfectionist. If I can't do it perfectly, then I give up eventually and never end up getting anything done. I get distracted easily by anything and everything. Never can get myself to actually do something full on through.

We keep searching for the answer to the problem, read tens and hundreds of books about being efficient and productive and finally ending our procrastination ordeal. Yet, personally I have not yet found a real solution, though I admit I often use searching for one a tool for procrastinating ;)

My first Idead was about the ADD factor. I am probably the most "ADD-ish" person around, and anyone that has spent a significant time with me can tell you that. But then again, that's not the truth either. Because "ADD-ish" is a term synonymous with being "random" and having a short attention span for certain subjects. It can also be related to being spontaneous, or simply high on synthetically produced instant coffee and having a bad reaction to too much caffeine (is there ever a good reaction?). Another thing that doesn't make sense within this idea, is that the same people who claim they cannot focus easily, somehow possess the ability to focus for hours on playing solitaire(lol) or drawing a picture. So, thus one could conclude that those people HAVE the ability to focus; its just directly connected to whether what they are doing is mentally stimulating. Not that I am in any way implying that ADHD is not a real psychological problem. I'm just one of those people that believe it's an overused excuse for procrastination, and that even when it truly manifests in a child or adult, there are always outside factors influencing it.


The other idea I've read of is the idea of perfectionists. And I've come to the conclusion that it does really apply to me (After years of Denial...lol). The truth is that I live off of passion. Perfection simply fits really well into those ideals. I secretly believe I'm a superhero that can do ANYTHING I put my mind to. I just never choose to use my powers. Which also plays well into an underlying fear of failure, thus the inaction. If I don't ever use my powers, I never have to face the fact that I dp not really have superpowers and finally get rid of the denial that protects my psyche. What can I say, Ignorance is bliss. When studying I imagine myself with perfect notes sitting in a crazy clean room in the middle of the day and all of my studying being so efficient that I surpass all my classmates with my innate superintelligence and studying abilities.
And yet. My notes are never perfect, or neatly rewritten like i imagine them being. And my room is never clean enough that I can study normally in it, because I never bother to clean. I never bother to clean because I have so much studying that I need to do, which I never do. Can you see the self-damaging cycle occurring? My perfectionism ruins my life. And while I'm imagining the perfect world without distractions, my colleagues are studying in their messy rooms from their imperfect notes and imperfect time management. And funny thing, they are actually getting somewhere, while I'm stuck in a hole I can't seem to escape. Unfortunately, it builds me a bad reputation, because although it worked in middle school, and many times in highschool, by College and university, innate abilities alone will not get you good grades. So, in a way, I'm still a super hero in my head.

I guess in a way, psychologically, failure out of lack of action is easier than failure because I'm not good enough.

Seriously, I should become the next Sigmund Freud:P.
Erm, about productivity, not sexual desires. Just to be clear.